My Crazy Life

Entries categorized as ‘Sucky Times’

Almost Christmas!

December 21, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Okay so it’s FINALLY almost Christmas! And one week until my birthday. Woohoo! I can’t wait to celebrate that. I got Zach’s layaway off and am going to wrap everything Christmas Eve. I have to go through the stuff today to wrap things that I got for other kids because me and Sarah are exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas since she’s going away for the holiday. So when Zach takes a nap, that’s what I’ll be doing.

Anyhow.. Dude came over last night. And it was so nice to see him. I missed him!! I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time he was here. It just sucks that he had to get up to leave so early. I’m supposed to see him tonight. I don’t know what’s going on now whether he’s going to come here and spend the night or whether I’m going there. I’d rather go there and get a break from the spawn for one night. I miss being able to go see him and just hang out there without anyone any kids to bother me.

So yesterday I was driving home and I hear *BANG!* I look in the rearview mirror and the WHOLE back windshield is cracking. Into little pieces. I was hoping I could get home without it cracking or breaking or shattering … but then I heard it shattering. Literally, HEARD it. So I pulled over and took Zach out and put him in the front seat with me.. meanwhile, freaking out because I don’t have the money to get it fixed … and it’s not even my car – it’s my mom’s! So I’m figuring she’s gonna kill me, flip out, whatever. Well, thank god I put Zach in the front because soon after I did that, the whole window shattered. So now there is glass all over the back of my car seats, in his carseat.. just all over. I came home, still freaking out, grabbed Zach, ran in the house and told my mother … who was rather calm about the whole situation. She wanted to make sure Zach wasn’t hurt and everything else is okay, and said maybe an iceball or a tree branch fell on it. Because I still don’t know what it was. Anyhow, my brother said he’ll pay to get it fixed. Thank god! So C is picking me up on Monday morning (Christmas Eve!) from work and we are coming here. He is going with me to get it fixed, and Tas is going to watch Zach for me. We wanted to get it fixed tomorrow but they don’t have any openings until Monday at 9am. So that’s that.

Tas got her car stuck again the other day. Her boyfriend and a friend of his/hers/mine came to help her get it out. They got it out. Anyhow, the point of this is.. Kids say the darnest thing!!! Zach came over to me last night and the conversation went like this:

Zach: “Mommy I can’t play with my truck.”
Me: “Why not?”
Zach: “I can’t drive it.”
Me: “Why can’t you drive it? Go get it.”
Zach: “I can’t. It’s stuck in a ditch like Tas car. Tas can’t drive either.”

HAHAHAA I laughed so hard. I love my son. He’s so funny!! His newest thing is telling me I’m a funny bunny. No idea where he got that from. Oh yeah, and now he answers the tv and talks to Dora and Diego and Joe from Blues Clues and to Tasha on the Backyardigans.. I hate that show, btw. I also hate The Wonder Pets. But that’s life.

I think we’re going to eat lunch, and take a nap soon. Sounds good to me. I need it.

Categories: Home! · Life.. in General · Mommyhoodness · Sucky Times · The Dude · The Spawn

The Countdown Begins

December 18, 2007 · Leave a Comment

..7 Days Til Christmas!

So here’s the plan for Christmas, starting today:

  • Tuesday 12/18
    Work tonight
  • Wednesday 12/19 
    Work tonight
  • Thursday 12/20
    Get paid…
    Zach’s layaway off!
    Legal crap to take care of
    Go out with Sarah
    Get ONE last present (for Dude), get wrapping paper
    Go see Carmella
    C comes over after work…
    Decorate tree
  • Friday 12/21
    Getting Zach’s pictures done
    Going to C’s house to spend the night
  • Saturday 12/22
    Come home
    Work tonight!
  • Sunday 12/23
    Work tonight!! (Last night before vacation!!!!)
  • Monday 12/24
    C is picking me up from work.. woohoo!!!
    Coming home & hanging out
    Sarah’s coming over… Exchanging presents
    -Eve-(after bedtime)
    Wrapping presents!!!
    Watching The Christmas Shoes
    C gets part of his present.. haha ;)
  • Tuesday 12/25
    CHRISTMAS!!!!! Wooohoooooooo!!!
    Open presents
    Have breakfast
    Go see Nevaeh … C will meet her
    Come back home and watch Christmas movies all day!!

WOOOHOOOO!! One week. I can’t wait!!! And yes.. still falling.. head over heels for The Dude!!! :D

R.I.P. DADDY!!!
8/22/50 – 12/18-03
I MISS YOU!!

Categories: Life.. in General · Sucky Times · The Dude · Work

Gotta love the Holidays

December 16, 2007 · 1 Comment

I love the holidays, I really do. Christmas time is my favorite time of the year. And I got it back when I had my son. Yeah, I do mean got it back. It was gone. It will be 4 years on the 18th since he passed away.. and I remember it like it was yesterday. It will never go away, I’m sure. I miss him so much still and I don’t know what to do with myself around the time.

I’ve screwed up so much in my life already, and I can’t blame anybody but me. I know if he was still alive, I would have never done half the things I did. However, I wouldn’t have my son. That’s the one good thing that came out of my screw ups. He’s the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just trying to fix everything, I’m trying so hard, and nothing seems to be working. I feel like everything I do is so slow-paced and there’s no way to speed it up. I don’t know what to do with myself when things get like this.

Today we got an email. Ron has cancer. Again … I don’t know what to do. He’s been around for as long as I can remember. Yet I hate being around him because he reminds me so much of my father. I guess that’s what best friends do? I don’t know how to take it. I don’t know what to do. I want to curl up in a ball and hide. I don’t want to lose another “father”

Now I understand why some people didn’t want to see my father the way he was at the end. But you know what? I wish I would have never seen him that way either, but I’m so glad I was there with him. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

My God I miss him.

And poor Ron.

Categories: Life.. in General · Sucky Times