Looking forward to my life!

I’m so proud of myself. I got my GED results and I passed everything. I figured I would, honestly, I really did. But I did so much better than I thought I would. I’m very proud of myself. This is a huge step. This means I can go forward with my life. And I really, really have decided 100% for sure what I want to do. I want to be a CNA. I want to go to school for it and get it done and pursue it. I want to love living my life. And I am looking forward to it.

Will update later.

I MADE A NEW BLOGGGGGG!!!!

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

All in all…

R.I.P. Aunt Mary. I love you and I will miss you.

At the funeral, I was thinking.. there’s only 4 of them left. And my poor grandmother.. I ache for her. I can’t even imagine how she must feel. Losing her husband years ago, my uncle (her son-in-law of YEARS), her son (my own father), her sister, and now her oldest child..and only daughter. How horrible that must be. If anyone really does read my blog, please give a prayer for her. She is truly a strong woman.. and still as loving and giving as ever. She is my hero.

Now.. Moving time is coming closer. I am getting nervous, about being able to do everything on my own. I have faith in myself.. I believe I can do it. But there’s just so many things I worry about. Like my legal “issues”… I don’t want any of that to get screwed up. I’m scared to death of that. I’m scared of losing everything, especially when I really am doing good. I am doing everything right. I am trying to get things going for myself… and mostly, for my son. I want to go back to school. And I can’t wait to do it. I want to be the person, the woman, and the mother I know I can be. I want to do what I know I am capable of. And I look forward to it.

Now.. for The Dude. Chris. Every time I see him, feelings get stronger. I don’t even know, I don’t know if it’s right or not. If I should feel like this.. if he feels the same way or not. I think he does. I am pretty damn sure he does. Honestly, all I know now, is that he has me hooked. I don’t even THINK of other guys while I have him. And it’s not all about sex, either. That’s the best thing about it. We have a real relationship.. something real and wonderful going on. He’s so great to Zach. He’s just so awesome all together. I believe I love him. I really, really think I do. Isn’t that what love is? Not being able to get someone out of your mind?

If you can’t get someone out of your mind, maybe they’re supposed to be there.

So maybe life is finally going right. Maybe I’m not such a screw up. Maybe things will go right. Either way, I’ve made mistakes and I’m trying to get past them. I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. Extremely far from it, actually. But I am trying. Trying very hard, too. I’m sure I’ll make more mistakes, hopefully never like the past, but I know I’ll get through them too. I have faith in me.

Moving BECAUSE..

I am moving because I am better than this. People don’t know the true story so they make things up. This is the definition of bullshit, stupidity and ignorance. In a way, I think it’s funny.. because I don’t talk to half the people who have my name in their mouths. I love it.

I was told last night… “When they stop talking about you, that’s when you need to worry.”

So I guess.. no worries for me! Hahaha.

I have everything going for me. Everything. I’m getting my car, I’m getting out of here, I’m starting over fresh, my bid is almost done!!, my son is the smartest little boy in the world, I’m going back to school, I am happy with myself, and to top it off.. my boyfriend is in love with me.

I’ll miss a couple people, but those are people I can stay in touch with. And honestly, if you don’t bring anything good with you.. and you are not somebody I can look up to… why bother with you? I’m not going to drag myself down to anybody’s level anymore. So let’s see what rumors come about this week when I don’t speak to anybody.

I hope they’re good!!

….

Again.. HE LOVES ME. How ’bout that shit, bitches? Eat it up. I am in love and I am happy with my life and my family.  Nobody can ruin it. I promise.

Moving Out

Okay so I’ve decided now for sure I am moving out. I need to get out of here. And I have a place and all that stuff lined up. I want to try to get a job lined up before I go.. if not, I’ll just have to go back and forth to my job here until I can get one set up. I want to try to get daycare and all that, if not Hollie said she’ll watch Zach. I’m just sick of this place and arguments and bullshit and want to go somewhere new, where nobody knows me. I’ll be fine, I have faith in myself and that I can do it. I know I’ll be okay.

I have to do this.. for myself.

Reblog!

I wrote a blog earlier.. and I just deleted it. It wasn’t as thought out as I’d like it to be. I just found out a lot about what I want to do.. so now I want to write it, but want it to be more organized.

Okay.. so my GED date is set for March 10th & 12th. I’m sure I can pass it. I may have to study a little bit, am not sure how to do that though, but I guess just look things up on the net? Anyway, I am sure I’ll pass it.

Then I know I want to go to college. So as soon as I do that, I want to go and sign up at the college over here. For online courses. Sarah is doing that, and she said since I’m “broke” and am a single parent, I’ll definitely get grants and stuff. Which is great.. I need that, because I can’t afford it. And I really want to better myself and my life. I know I can do it. I want to be the person I know I can be.. the person I would have been, had I not fucked up. But yes, everything happens for a reason. So hopefully I can start a summer course online.

With my taxes.. I am getting a car. Getting a car, and paying off my ticket. That will be great. With what I have left.. if I have anything left, I’m going to treat myself and Zach to a nice day out. Maybe pay for his birthday party. Then I’m going to put the rest into a savings account. Pay off my 300/400 dollar fine for LC and then I’m going to start saving about 100 a week into the savings account. By the time we all get the tax returns (THANK GOD FOR THAT! Bush did something right this time!!!).. which is 600 a person, 300 a child = 900 for me.. I am sure I’ll have enough to move out. If I haven’t done it before.

No idea what will happen with Chris. I am very happy with him, and am pretty sure this will last a while. I mean I don’t know if we’ll move in together or not.. I don’t know what will happen with that. I guess we’ll see, and that will have to do with me moving out.

I’m hoping to find a job that pays better. But then I think I may just stick this out until I get through college.. however, that could be a while and I don’t know if I can do the whole 12 hour shift, overnight thing for that long. Maybe I’ll try to find another factory that pays more? Who knows.

All I know now.. is that I have plans to do things. And nobody can stop me. I know I can do it and I will do it. I’m so excited that I’m finally getting things going.

Also.. there’s midget soccer here. That starts either in spring or summer. I want to get Zach into it. I’m not quite sure how, but I’m going to find out.. and hopefully I can get him in this summer. I think he’d do good, and have lots of fun. And I’d LOOOVE to watch his games! And as soon as fall comes along, I’m going to get him into HeadStart. In the years to come, I also plan on starting with t-ball and then regular baseball. He’s already athletic and enjoys sports.. so I want to start him as young as I can. Besides, *I* believe I have the smartest little boy in the world.