I MADE A NEW BLOGGGGGG!!!!

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

http://simplycrazyprincess.blogspot.com/

All in all…

R.I.P. Aunt Mary. I love you and I will miss you.

At the funeral, I was thinking.. there’s only 4 of them left. And my poor grandmother.. I ache for her. I can’t even imagine how she must feel. Losing her husband years ago, my uncle (her son-in-law of YEARS), her son (my own father), her sister, and now her oldest child..and only daughter. How horrible that must be. If anyone really does read my blog, please give a prayer for her. She is truly a strong woman.. and still as loving and giving as ever. She is my hero.

Now.. Moving time is coming closer. I am getting nervous, about being able to do everything on my own. I have faith in myself.. I believe I can do it. But there’s just so many things I worry about. Like my legal “issues”… I don’t want any of that to get screwed up. I’m scared to death of that. I’m scared of losing everything, especially when I really am doing good. I am doing everything right. I am trying to get things going for myself… and mostly, for my son. I want to go back to school. And I can’t wait to do it. I want to be the person, the woman, and the mother I know I can be. I want to do what I know I am capable of. And I look forward to it.

Now.. for The Dude. Chris. Every time I see him, feelings get stronger. I don’t even know, I don’t know if it’s right or not. If I should feel like this.. if he feels the same way or not. I think he does. I am pretty damn sure he does. Honestly, all I know now, is that he has me hooked. I don’t even THINK of other guys while I have him. And it’s not all about sex, either. That’s the best thing about it. We have a real relationship.. something real and wonderful going on. He’s so great to Zach. He’s just so awesome all together. I believe I love him. I really, really think I do. Isn’t that what love is? Not being able to get someone out of your mind?

If you can’t get someone out of your mind, maybe they’re supposed to be there.

So maybe life is finally going right. Maybe I’m not such a screw up. Maybe things will go right. Either way, I’ve made mistakes and I’m trying to get past them. I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. Extremely far from it, actually. But I am trying. Trying very hard, too. I’m sure I’ll make more mistakes, hopefully never like the past, but I know I’ll get through them too. I have faith in me.

Babysitters…

So I am in need of a new babysitter.

I hate when stupid shit happens. We went out to lunch – twice – I paid. I also said okay, I’ll just pay for this and we’ll say I don’t owe you anything. She says okay. We also went to the bar – twice – and I paid for quite a few of her drinks.. also saying okay now I won’t pay you for Zach, I’ll just buy you stuff. She says okay. So what is the problem now? Now all of a sudden I owe her 30 dollars.. not quite sure how she gets 30? But okay. No. I am waiting for her to call me back now.

Yes I am aware that you can not pay bills with that money.. but I also know that if you’re not working, babysitting for 3 hours 2 times a week isn’t that big of a deal and helps out a little bit, right?

God I’m just so aggravated.. because I always end up paying for shit and then supposedly I screw people over but how so if I am the one paying for things in the first place?

I just can’t wait to move.. get a new job.. and put the kid in daycare. Maybe then shit will be okay… I know it will be, actually. Hopefully Sarah can babysit for me for the time being.

I pray.

Moving BECAUSE..

I am moving because I am better than this. People don’t know the true story so they make things up. This is the definition of bullshit, stupidity and ignorance. In a way, I think it’s funny.. because I don’t talk to half the people who have my name in their mouths. I love it.

I was told last night… “When they stop talking about you, that’s when you need to worry.”

So I guess.. no worries for me! Hahaha.

I have everything going for me. Everything. I’m getting my car, I’m getting out of here, I’m starting over fresh, my bid is almost done!!, my son is the smartest little boy in the world, I’m going back to school, I am happy with myself, and to top it off.. my boyfriend is in love with me.

I’ll miss a couple people, but those are people I can stay in touch with. And honestly, if you don’t bring anything good with you.. and you are not somebody I can look up to… why bother with you? I’m not going to drag myself down to anybody’s level anymore. So let’s see what rumors come about this week when I don’t speak to anybody.

I hope they’re good!!

….

Again.. HE LOVES ME. How ’bout that shit, bitches? Eat it up. I am in love and I am happy with my life and my family.  Nobody can ruin it. I promise.

Moving Out

Okay so I’ve decided now for sure I am moving out. I need to get out of here. And I have a place and all that stuff lined up. I want to try to get a job lined up before I go.. if not, I’ll just have to go back and forth to my job here until I can get one set up. I want to try to get daycare and all that, if not Hollie said she’ll watch Zach. I’m just sick of this place and arguments and bullshit and want to go somewhere new, where nobody knows me. I’ll be fine, I have faith in myself and that I can do it. I know I’ll be okay.

I have to do this.. for myself.